What I cant give him
by RenJean
Summary: Rukia returns to the world of the living for one last visit before she can agree to marry Renji. But it seems Ichigo no longer has room for her in his life. IchigoxOC sorry ive been having some problems with the uploading.


**just a oneshot i got bored and wrote, please note, i only watch the anime and haven't gotten a chance to read the manga, im only at episode 90 so please forgive me for any errors to the story or spelling i might make.**

I could be at a party announcing my engagement right now. I could be laughing with my friends and showing off my ring. But I cant even get myself to put it on. I feel so stupid and ashamed as I walk threw the rain. my gigia is uncomfortable and slow. But its worth it. To see him. To find out what he thinks of me marring Renji. Shamefully part of is longing for him to tell me not to, to tell me to be with him instead, but I know that it cannot be. I've finally reached his house.

I knock on the door after about three minutes of being to afraid to. Uzu opens the door. She's grown into quiet a younge women since i saw her last.

"Can I help you?", she says. she must not remember me.

"Uhm.. yes. Is Ichigo here?"

"Mhm, come on in" she says with a smile."ICHIGO! Someones here to see you!"

"Who is it?",I heard him ask from the other room. His voice gives me chills. He hasn't changed.

"What was your name?" she whispers.

"Rukia", I say. now she must remember because her face lit up.

"it's Rukia!" she hollers as she leads me into the next room. In the living room I see Ichigo's father, His other sister, and Ichigo.

"Rukia?" he says softly looking at me as if I'm a ghost. Oh, wait, I guess I am a ghost.

"Hi Ichigo..." I mutter. Its been three years since i saw him last. I can tell just by looking at him his matured he seems so...grown up."I came here to ask you something."

"Hey guys can we have a minute?", he said to his family. The nodded and left the room.

"What is it Rukia?"

"Well its just...well..I...I..Ren-" I'm cut off by a short women with long blond hair and an abnormal looking stomach. It so large and round it doesn't seem right at all for her small body"

"Ichigo can you please help me with this?" she says pointing at her untied shoe. then she turns my direction. "Oh hello? Sorry am I interrupting something?"

"You're fine" Ichigo says with a smile. "Come here, I'll tie that for you" She walks- or almost waddles over to him. She puts her foot on the coffee table and as he's tying her show she looks at me like she's embarrassed.

"I never thought I'd be so fat Ichigo would have to tie my shoes!" she giggled.

"Oh your not fat Era", he says not even looking up. she giggles again. I cant help from thinking... yes she is fat.

"K. All done." he says. She takes her foot down and thanks him. "Rukia, this is Era. Era Rukia, i've told you about her." She smiles and nods.

"Nice to finally meet you Rukia." I don't really know what to say because i hadn't heard anything about her or anticipated meeting her so its not like I'm _finnally _meeting her. I deiced just to say, "you too"

"Well i don't wanna intrude anymore, I'm gonna go help Uzu in the kitchen", she says then leaves the room.

"Sorry about that. She literally cant bend over like that anymore, so I have to help out with stuff like that"

"its fine.", i say" who is she?"

"My uhm... wife." , he says. I feel as tho Ive been struck by lightning. my mind cant wrap itself around this at all. After a minute i can finally speak.

"Oh... thats nice. Whered you find her?"

"She was attached by a hallow."

"oh so shes a spirit? That's a pretty defective gigia then."

"Huh? Why do say that?" I've got my foot in my mouth now.

"Its just that she... her... stomach. It just doesn't seem normal." Now Ichigo starts laughing, possibly harder than I've heard him laugh before. i let out a small" hehehe" not understanding what was so funny. He continue laughing.

"What? Whats so funny?" i say confused.

"you really don't know why her stomachs so big do you?" he says trying to stop the laughing.

"no..."

he pulls himself together and straightens an imaginary tie. "Rukia, she 8 and a half months pregnant." this word is familiar but i don't know what it is. its not a word we use in the soul society. "pregnant?" i ask trying not sound to stupid.

"yes Rukia, like with child?" I finally understand this women is not fat, she growing a child inside 's child.a completely new life, with a new soul and a new body. I hadn't heard of it before because no new life is created in the soul society. I cant believe it. Ichigo going to be a father? And how is the women really? She beautiful and seems to be a sweet as can be. it seems Ichigo has everything he could ever need right here. i felt is pressure rise when she walked in, she obviously makes him happy. Ichigo is happy. I should be happy for him, i refuse to let myself feel jealous. I cannot give a him child, i am not even alive. I was so foolish to ever think he and I could have happiness like this.

"Oh Ichigo thats wonderful!" I say starting to feel my eyes fill up with tears."congratulations"

"thank you." he smiles. "Its a girl." the way he says this i can tell how truly happy it makes him. i know he'll be an excellent father, after all he wen threw to save me, i cant even imagine what he would do for his own child.

"so you wanted to ask me something?" he says. That's true I had wanted to ask him if he thought i should marry Renji or not. But now I want him to think im as happy as he is.

"Right. i wanted to ask you if you would like to come to my wedding in the fall." i lied.

"your getting married? to who?" he asks.

"I'm marrying Renji" i smile. And for the first time, i truly am happy about that.

**thanks for reading please review!**

**please dont reveiw me about my grammer errors, im not gonna change em anyway :P**


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